only if we run a train.
done.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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