Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
