and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
