I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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