You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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