So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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