I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
