his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Found your dick twin last night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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