Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize