Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
