I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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