the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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