i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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