i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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