Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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