At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
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