Nicole vs. Life
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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