he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My bed smells like the plague
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
