I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
