so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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