Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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