I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i think my tv is drunk
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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