Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
