I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
