At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
