Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize