glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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