I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
