I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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