what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
