Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
