I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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