So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
