dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
