Me too!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
