I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
