Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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