i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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