Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
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