I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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