I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
