i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
