There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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