that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize