OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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