his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up