Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?