My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask