i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
