does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize