just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
