Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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