Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Found your dick twin last night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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