Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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