How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
