Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
