so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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