you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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