I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize