Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
