that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
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Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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