I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You smell like stripper and shame
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
