I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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