I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
