Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
They have beer where we have blood.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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