she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
