i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
