Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize