Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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