I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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