No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
